I am having a bad hair day or should I say I'm truly just not feeling my new look at all. I don't know what the problem is. I haven't been able to blog or let DH take pics of me because I am just not feeling it anymore. I feel like I made a huge mistake taking my 1st set down. Why did I do that? To get straight parts?? That is crazy. I should have just gotten the locs fixed and kept my full head of hair. I used to say "I am not my hair" but truly, I think I am because I feel like my hair looks straggly and ridiculous. I can't get over the difference. In a little over 4 weeks I still feel like it is the 1st day. I went to have my 3 week check up and she washed it and had to do a full re-tightening due to new growth. That was interesting...
The locs are going every which way and they don't cooperate with me. It looks thinned out and has no life whatsoever. I have never experienced that before and I am very self conscience about it. I keep trolling other's blogs, especially Blaq's. Her hair is truly da bomb and I keep looking and telling myself that one day...... but I don't believe that because my progression is vastly different. The "filling in" is not happening, especially in the front. It just looks flat and drab. I hate trying to freestyle because that is the worst look. I have curled and braided out and it still looks crazy. It feels hard and strange. The so called curly cues look like afro puffs on the ends to me. It's like this is not the same head of hair. I still grieve my loss of over 100 locs from the 1st set which confirms that a lot of hair was lost in the take down, not to mention the damage. It looks fuzzy and down right bad.
So much has occured since my 2nd installation. My girlfriend Daena's mom passed and that was horribly fast. She was diagnosed in Jan and passed in April. Too much to swallow. It seems that everyone is being diagnosed with cancer these days. In the grand scheme of things, I should not complain at all when I look at what is happening to those around me. I ought to be ashamed to lament about hair.
On a good note, I did start a program thru my church called the CHIP Program. CHIP stands for Coronary Health Improvement Program. It is a 4 week program geared towards helping people fight disease basically with a knife and fork. Focus is on lowering cholesterol, high bp, coronary artery disease and diabetes and fighting obesity. My cholesterol was much higher than I thought and I am overweight. I decided that I wanted to change my lifestyle once and for all. I have done the yo-yo thing for too many years. I know how to lose weight but have failed miserably at keeping it off. This was my last ditch effort to do what needed to be done years ago. The program endorses a vegan lifestyle. The Seventh Day Adventist Church already promotes a vegetarian lifestyle but that doesn't necessarily mean that one is eating "healthy". There is still a high percentage of folk that suffer from ailments that could be avoided just by changing the diet habits. I am thankful that I do not suffer from any disease, however, I can afford to live a healthier lifestyle and knew that I needed to get moving again.
I am pleased to say that I successfully completed the program in the 4 weeks and lost 9 lbs in the process. I can truly say that I am done with meat and dairy (for now......) I hate to say never again but after everything I gleaned from the program, I am convinced that it is not for me. There are so many different alternatives to use and still feel like you are satisfied and eating well. I am loving all of the new recipes and have even tried some raw food recipes. This is a new concept and journey for me and at 46 soon to be 47 it was long overdue. We have our formal graduation this coming weekend and I am looking forward to it. Just hope the hair cooperates!!!!
I started my walking program again with my girlfriend Regina who is quite the little motivator. She calls me faithfully each day to get my tail out of the house to walk the streets of Laurel, Md. Lots of ground has been covered and it's paying off. My b-day is in June and I would love to be able to experience a different size at that time. Hair, body, what can I say?? This is crazy.
I am going to try and wait this out (the hair that is) but I have been known to be very impatient. I need to feel better about my appearance in general but the hair is the focal point at this time. If my hair is jacked, I am jacked. At least that's my motto. Even being overweight, I feel like if my hair, nails and feet are done, I've won half the battle. Right now, I feel like I'm losing. Just being honest ladies. I have made some bonehead decisions in my day but I think this one takes the cake. You live and you learn. I might post some pics this week, depends on how I'm feeling. Lost my zeal for posting since I am so self conscience. Bear with me.