I'm Still Alive

It's been a long time but as I trolled through a few of my other favorite blogs, I saw that I was not alone... So here I am, dark roots and all. I can't wait to be able to color my hair again. I am at 6mos now in my 2nd set. I'm not really doing much with my hair these days. Just trying to be patient with it.

This blogging thing is really a commitment that I am failing at thus far. My goal was to keep up with it and really document what was happening but I lost the momentum with the re-installation drama. I received a comment from someone the other day that prompted me to log back in and see what was going on. I have to admit that I think I am petered out with it all. Have not forgiven myself for making such a costly decision... Nuf said.

A lot has happened since my last post, one of them being that my 16 year old son Ryan, decided that he wanted to go to the same boarding school that I attended in high school. I was shocked and had to kick into gear to get things moving so that took up most of my summer along with travel and summercamp for my youngest who is 10. The school is called Pine Forge Academy and it is a Seventh Day Adventist boarding school in PA. It is one of only 4 historically black boarding high schools in the United States. I had the privilege of attending for 4 years and graduated in 1979. Now my son is following suit but he is a Junior so he will only do his last 2 years. He loves it and is having the time of his life. I miss him terribly but I know it was the right decision for him. I won't have to worry about the transition to college for he is getting a taste of dorm life now along with time management and all that goes along with being responsible. The pics were taken over the Labor Day Weekned which is when the school celebrates it's annual Alumni Weekend. I have several other schoolmates who now have kids there as well so we were just hanging out in Ryan's dorm room. It was my girlfriend's 30 year reunion(the one with the turban) for her class so we had a ball all weekend seeing old friends. I love the fact that our children are together up there just as we were back in the day. It's a wonderful legacy to give to them.

On another note, I have gotten back into one of my favorite things to do and that is reading. I read a book this summer called "The Shack" by William P. Young and it was awesome. I recommend it highly. You can log on the http://www.theshackbook.com/ to read more about it. It truly changed my perspective on a lot of things and reinforced the fact that we cannot put God in a box. It is fiction, a novel about a man who's youngest child was abducted and murdered on a camping trip. (sounds horrible, I know) 3 years after her abduction, he receives a letter asking him to come back to the shack where her belongings were found and the rest of the story is about his encounter with God there. Deep book, easy read and life changing.

I guess I can summarize by saying that I will take a stab at this again. We can get so caught up in life that things go by the wayside. Be patient with me!

Feelin Pretty Good

Click on for a larger view.


Had a fantastic weekend with family celebrating graduations and just being family. There is nothing better than that in my book. My cousins came up for the weekend and we had a blast. My spirit needed filling up and spending time with them did that for me. We laughed, talked, cried and reminisced about everything. We talked about all of our hair drama as well and boy did we have some stories from bad weaves to crappy color.

The time spent put me on a high so I decided to blog tonite. Just came in from the dinner given for my cousin who graduated from HS and I'm tired but still feeling good about the whole event. I can't believe that it's all over. I have 2 more years before my son graduates from HS and I can't wait. These past 2 weeks have been packed with graduation activity for about 6 friends and fam and we will be in Boston this coming weekend for the last one.

It's late but I wanted to show the look I achieved by setting my hair on the sponge rollers with satin. Not too bad. I've been out since 7am and it's about 11pm now so I know I'm looking rather whipped in these pics. I still feel the need to braid out or curl. I'll be brave enuf to post my free style look a little later on. I get tightened up on June 25, maybe I will do it then.

In the meantime, I am pretty tired so until next time..............

INSPIRED BY THE GREAT BLAQKOFI

I'm back and ready to show my face again! While trolling the sites last nite I was inspired by Blaq's video of MJB's "Work That" How did she know that was one of my current favorites and why the heck didn't I think to do that first?? LOL! Whateva the case, it truly made me smile and I needed to smile last nite.

Truth is, I really don't feel good about my hair. It looks and feels so different to me. I hate how it looks when I free style. I either need to do a braid out or set it on rollers in order for me to really feel comfortable. I just wish I didn't have the comparison. I am in my 7th week and just had a retightening on last friday. It has grown some and my gray is sprouting at the roots. You can still see a lot of parts as well especially in the front. I am hoping that as it grows back in and begins to expand that I will get the look I am looking for which is fullness and volume. I still mourn my volume, I lost a great deal of hair on that takedown fiasco. Okay enough of that negative talk.

As stated earlier, I still look at everyone's blog and Blaq's is always so inspiring and positive. Talk about loc envy...... the words to MJB's song got me to thinking that I just need to work what I've got and it's not bad, just different from before. I have going thru a true transformation when it comes to my health and body so it's all new and I feel good about the changes that I have made and continue to make. I have lost 13lbs and I am walking everyday (well almost, my girl Gina had to drag me out today) I have not had any animal flesh or dairy since March 30. My sugar intake is minimal, I have not had caffiene or any such substance and I feel great! I still have quite a journey but I am committed. I am waiting for my lab results from the program I was in to see if my cholesterol decreased in number.

Summer is coming (I think, hell, it was 51 degrees this morning on this late May Day) and I just would like to be able to shed a few more lbs and wear some armless stuff! Been longtime since I was able to do that. I have been drinking my wheatgrass smoothies each morning and taking Biotin???? Maybe that will do something.

So, here's the deal. I am going to STOP lamenting about my perception of my "look" and embrace all that I am right now. God is good and has blessed me tremendously and I just need to stop but I had to get it out one more time. The fact that I posted pics is a miracle. I am back and prepared to blog consistently again.

Thanx to all of you that encouraged me along this particular phase. I pray that I can now turn the tables and be an inspiration to someone else along the way.

Haven't Been Able to Blog

I am having a bad hair day or should I say I'm truly just not feeling my new look at all. I don't know what the problem is. I haven't been able to blog or let DH take pics of me because I am just not feeling it anymore. I feel like I made a huge mistake taking my 1st set down. Why did I do that? To get straight parts?? That is crazy. I should have just gotten the locs fixed and kept my full head of hair. I used to say "I am not my hair" but truly, I think I am because I feel like my hair looks straggly and ridiculous. I can't get over the difference. In a little over 4 weeks I still feel like it is the 1st day. I went to have my 3 week check up and she washed it and had to do a full re-tightening due to new growth. That was interesting...

The locs are going every which way and they don't cooperate with me. It looks thinned out and has no life whatsoever. I have never experienced that before and I am very self conscience about it. I keep trolling other's blogs, especially Blaq's. Her hair is truly da bomb and I keep looking and telling myself that one day...... but I don't believe that because my progression is vastly different. The "filling in" is not happening, especially in the front. It just looks flat and drab. I hate trying to freestyle because that is the worst look. I have curled and braided out and it still looks crazy. It feels hard and strange. The so called curly cues look like afro puffs on the ends to me. It's like this is not the same head of hair. I still grieve my loss of over 100 locs from the 1st set which confirms that a lot of hair was lost in the take down, not to mention the damage. It looks fuzzy and down right bad.

So much has occured since my 2nd installation. My girlfriend Daena's mom passed and that was horribly fast. She was diagnosed in Jan and passed in April. Too much to swallow. It seems that everyone is being diagnosed with cancer these days. In the grand scheme of things, I should not complain at all when I look at what is happening to those around me. I ought to be ashamed to lament about hair.

On a good note, I did start a program thru my church called the CHIP Program. CHIP stands for Coronary Health Improvement Program. It is a 4 week program geared towards helping people fight disease basically with a knife and fork. Focus is on lowering cholesterol, high bp, coronary artery disease and diabetes and fighting obesity. My cholesterol was much higher than I thought and I am overweight. I decided that I wanted to change my lifestyle once and for all. I have done the yo-yo thing for too many years. I know how to lose weight but have failed miserably at keeping it off. This was my last ditch effort to do what needed to be done years ago. The program endorses a vegan lifestyle. The Seventh Day Adventist Church already promotes a vegetarian lifestyle but that doesn't necessarily mean that one is eating "healthy". There is still a high percentage of folk that suffer from ailments that could be avoided just by changing the diet habits. I am thankful that I do not suffer from any disease, however, I can afford to live a healthier lifestyle and knew that I needed to get moving again.

I am pleased to say that I successfully completed the program in the 4 weeks and lost 9 lbs in the process. I can truly say that I am done with meat and dairy (for now......) I hate to say never again but after everything I gleaned from the program, I am convinced that it is not for me. There are so many different alternatives to use and still feel like you are satisfied and eating well. I am loving all of the new recipes and have even tried some raw food recipes. This is a new concept and journey for me and at 46 soon to be 47 it was long overdue. We have our formal graduation this coming weekend and I am looking forward to it. Just hope the hair cooperates!!!!

I started my walking program again with my girlfriend Regina who is quite the little motivator. She calls me faithfully each day to get my tail out of the house to walk the streets of Laurel, Md. Lots of ground has been covered and it's paying off. My b-day is in June and I would love to be able to experience a different size at that time. Hair, body, what can I say?? This is crazy.

I am going to try and wait this out (the hair that is) but I have been known to be very impatient. I need to feel better about my appearance in general but the hair is the focal point at this time. If my hair is jacked, I am jacked. At least that's my motto. Even being overweight, I feel like if my hair, nails and feet are done, I've won half the battle. Right now, I feel like I'm losing. Just being honest ladies. I have made some bonehead decisions in my day but I think this one takes the cake. You live and you learn. I might post some pics this week, depends on how I'm feeling. Lost my zeal for posting since I am so self conscience. Bear with me.

Finally Getting Used To This

I am exactly 1 week locked in this pic. My new date of being locked is March 29th. I decided to curl my hair for church and see how it would come out. I am still getting used to the length and lack of density. To my surprise, it came out pretty nice and I actually liked the cropped look. I need to embrace this new journey once again and do what I can to feel comfortable. I know it sounds like I am tripping but ya gotta admit it's different.

Drumroll Please.......

Click on pics to enlarge and view the full slide show with captions. These are pics of installation, my consultant and the 2nd day of being newly locked.

Well it's been a week since I had my new set of SL's installed and my has it been a week. My emotions have gone up and down about my new look. I think I'm over it now. It is what it is and it's really okay. I just read a comment from someone that really put it all into perspective so I decided to go ahead and post pics and move on. The installation was done over 2 days. 11 hours on day 1 and 9 hours on day 2. I have less locs now and I figure it is due to the take down and loss of hair, I also had it trimmed but I see now that it was actually cut. I feel like I should have waited to have them reinstalled to give my hair a chance to recover from all of the shock. In 1 week I had it taken down, colored, cut and then reinstalled. That's trauma.

I think I was truly wrapped up in the # of locs and the thickness of my hair and not having to go thru the scalpy stage. What is that all about? I was really tripping. I lamented to my close friends and even DH got nervous and thought I was going to take them out. NO WAY! I will never do that again. Natalie's work was impeccable and I know that I have true SL's now. I think I was just tripping that I had to go thru such an ordeal to get it. I was so ready back in Dec to start the new year with locked hair. My hair was in great condition and just the length I wanted it to be starting out. This was so drastic a change in every way that I just couldn't enjoy it.

I am ready now for the new phase. Thanx to all for all of the comments and support.

What Ever Happened to Good Service??

So, I had a scheduled appt today to get my hair colored prior to getting this new set of sisterlocs. My appt was scheduled from last friday for 3:30pm. I went to work early just so I could get off and be done for the day. I called the stylist (I am a longstanding client, loyal and have sent her many referrals btw) to see if she was ready for me. No answer... not a problem, she is busy with someone else and can't get to the phone. I get to the salon and lo and behold, the door is locked with a closed sign on it and the clock saying will return at 3:30. Okay, take a deep breath because at this point it is 3:42 and no sign of her. It's dark in the shop that I am now peeping in and there are no signs of life. I get back in the car. I fidget, I say to myself, she's just running behind. I call my girlfriend Daena and we have a running joke... We start the converstion by saying "Note to self".......blah blah blah. Well my note to self was "when you make an appt and you get there and no one is waiting for you, how long do you wait?" It is now 3:55 and I am getting pissed. We lament about folk and how they do ya and I decide to just wait. After all, what else is there to do?? I have a afro puff that I can't even comb thru and my SL "consultation" is tomorrow at noon and I have dark black and gray roots that are NOT cute. I need some color!!! So, I wait. I proceed to call 2 other friends that share in my grief and whoa is me. We swap stories about hair stylists and nail technicians and people who just have no consideration for your time but God forbid you are late!!! Major attitude and such.

I call my DH (who at this point thinks I am insane over this hair drama but still loves me just the same). I don't know what I expected him to say but he listened as I went off. I went so far as to tape a note on the door because after all, at some point I would have to actually leave ya think?? Then, a young guy comes to the door and is looking for her as well. I roll down my window and badger him as to what services he was expecting and what time. He stated that she had been there earlier and told him that she would call him when she got back to the shop. I guess he didn't get a call and decided to just come because surely she must have forgotten. He said that she was supposed to color his hair as well. Meanwhile, I'm saying to myself, well at least she was here at some point and the clock is still ticking........... Finally, I'm on the phone again with yet another friend and she drives up and leisurely gets out of the car. I roll out of my durango and this is how the conversation went.

Me: Hey, what's up, I had a 3:30. It's now 4:45..

Her: Oh, I thought you were gonna call me...

Me: Call you?? We made an appt on friday nite. I sat in your chair while you combed me out and trimmed me and we decided to wait to do the color since my head was so tender from the takedown.

Her: Oh, I forgot to write it down and I don't even have your color. If I do it , it will be dark.

Me: (seething now with much attitude and tone) What do you mean you don't have the color and no, it won't be dark. I want the color that I have. My initial appt was for last Sat morning. What were you going to do then? (I'm thinkin she's trying to play me now)

Her: (With absolutely no remorse or feeling) Well, let me see if I have enough. Sit down and let me see your new growth. (she's fiddling and sectioning as my shoulders are hunching)

Me: Well?? Whats the deal?

Her: (she goes in her room of tricks and shuffles things around) I don't have enough. It's only 3 ounces and that won't be enough to do it properly. (then nothing)

Me: Okay, here's the deal. I made an appt with you. You forgot, didn't write it down, whateva. This was the day that was set aside for me to get my damn hair colored and I don't have time to reschedule or any such thing. Now I'm not sure what's going on with you but this is not a good week for me and I am ready for it to be over. Coloring my hair was part of the process so tell me what you need. Where do you get the color?

Her: In Laurel at Davidson's.

Me: (desperate now for real) Do you need me to go and get it???

Her: (hesitantly) I would have to call and see if they have it in stock (does she really want to do my hair??? Does she hate me?) I also have a 5:30 client coming in so I really can't go.

Me: Okay, go ahead and call. (standing now with lips poked out and a scowl on my face.)

Her: (On the phone) Blah blah blah, oh, you don't have it?...... Okay....

Me: (In my mind WTF??) Is there another store in the area?

Her: It's too far.

Me: I'll be the judge of that. Where is it?

Her: Rockville..... I have to call and see.

Me: Hell, I can get to Rockville. It's only 5pm (rush hour....beltway... hell.) What time do they close? Call them.

Her: (on the phone) Blah blah, oh you do. Okay what do you need ? Oh my card number and license. Oh... well I'm sending someone to get it. Can I give her the info?

Me: What's the address? Oh okay I know where that is. (snatch the card and jump in the car)

I'm high tailing it on the beltway and I'm cussin mad. I can't beleive that it has come to this. I'm a slave to the system. I am jacked all the way around. I had some fake out SL's that have been taken down and I can't even get this steel wool colored. I've reached a new low. I called my girlfrend back and told her to just go buy a gun and shoot me the next time she sees me and not to worry, just tell them at my funeral that I asked you to take me out of my misery. It's ok. You won't go to jail. That is truly the way I felt. I am 46 years old with all of the hair drama... What does this mean?

So, I pick up the stuff which btw, only costs $5.99 per tube... They then charge you $100 to apply it... but I guess that's the American way. I drive back around the beltway in traffic (it was moving thank God) to her shop. There is no one there in her chair..what happened to the 5:30 client. Did they ever exist? I've been played for sure.

Her: Come on and sit down. Thank you for doing that Wendi. Go ahead, cuss me out. I'm just not having a good day. I didn't write it down.

Me: Whatever, I'm not having a good WEEK, let alone day. Just do my hair please.

And the rest as they say, is history. Hair colored. Chit chat. She charged me $5. I paid $22 for 2 tubes of color and some other stuff that she had them set aside. I am glad it's over but I felt like you know what. The things we do in the name of hair.. or is it vanity? I think it's survival. When your hair is jacked, so are you. That's my story and I'm stickin to it.